What I Wanted to be When I Grew Up
by GRACE5
Summary: D/L what I wish would happen in 5.09.


"I'm pregnant." Lindsay said in a calm, but scared voice as she rested her head back against the locker and watch as his arms uncrossed and fell at his sides as his jaw dropped open in shock. "I didn't mean for this to happen." She told him softly as she continued to watch him; she watched his eyes flick to her abdomen real quick then back to her face. "I'm sorry." She said softly as her voice broke and she dropped his gaze.

"Lindsay." He whispered as he sat on the bench that was between them. She remained standing behind him, not sure on what exactly he was thinking. She watched him put his head in his hands and sigh. She turned to move out of the locker room, but his voice stopped her. "What are you doin'?" he questioned as he lifted his head from his hands to look at her, confused. "We have to talk about this."

"I said I was sorry Danny, I don't know what else to tell you." She said just a calmly as before but subconsciously her hand moved to her abdomen. She swallowed and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Sit, please?" he begged as he rested his hand on the spot next to him. She nodded and took sat on the hard bench, leaving some distance between them. "When?" he said as he turned to her, she had a confused look on her face so he clarified. "We've always been careful, when did…it happen?"

"The night of my rain walk." She mumbled as she kept her gaze on the floor.

"Yeah." Was all he said as he turned his head to look straight at the wall. They sat in silence for a while before he spoke again. "Talk to me Lindsay, tell me what you're thinking, what you want."

"I don't want to trap you with a baby, Danny." She told him glancing over at him.

"Like I trapped you?" he retorted and hung his head.

"It's not like that." Lindsay said as she moved to take his hand in hers.

"Talk to me, tell me what you're thinking, feeling." Danny said as he squeezed her hand.

"When I found out, I didn't do anything but cry, cried myself to sleep for awhile. Even on nights when you slept over, I waited 'till you were asleep. I wanted to tell, Dan, I just didn't know how." She paused and took a deep breath; he squeezed her hand urging her to continue. "So then I started to think about my options." She swallowed and flinched when she heard him gasp. "Sometimes abortions are the right choice, I didn't know much about adoption, but Stella turned out pretty good, and she was orphaned." She stopped to sniffle and wipe her nose.

"Then I remembered when I was little, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always answered a mommy, till I was 11." She laughed. "I went to the doctors and they confirmed it. The doctor did the ultra sound, and he was just a little peanut. "

"He?" Danny interrupted, curious.

"I always wanted a boy." She smiled and he turned and smiled back at her. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to her lips, urging her to continue. "Then I went home and sat on the couch and cried. I was considering an abortion, I didn't know how you would react, I thought it might be best if you didn't know." She stopped and let go of her hand, she sighed and wiped a tear from her cheek. She moved to stand up, but he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her tight against him.

"Keep going." He said, running his hand up and down her shoulder.

"Then I turned on the T.V. and I saw that Fisher Price commercial with all the babies playing with that musical jungle thing. I realized I wanted that, I want this baby, Danny. I want this baby to know that I choose to be his, their, mother. That I wasn't forced. I'm excited, excited to hear those first cries, hold them." She smiled and ran her hand down the front of his green shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles.

"I don't mind doing this alone. I'm not gonna force you into anything, Danny." She said as she pulled out of his embrace and looked at him. "I'm about three and a half months along. The doctor said the baby was positioned perfectly, that they could tell the gender. I told him no, that I didn't want to know until I talked to you." She said as she yawned. She shrugged her shoulders and continued to study him. "I don't need an answer right now, Danny. I hope you'll think about it."

"Of course." Danny said turning to her. "I just need a time to think, I won't abandon you, Lindsay." He said as he reached his hand up to cup her cheek. He gave her a weak smile and leaned in to kiss her. She slipped her tongue inside his mouth causing him to groan. They pulled away for air and kissed her nose. "I love you, remember?"

"I remember." She smiled as her phone buzzed. She pulled it from her pocket and read the text. "I have to go." She said and stood. "See you later."

"Be careful." He said like he always did when she left.


End file.
